Everyone loves Thailand

This month I went to Thailand.

Thong Nai Pan Yai

The rumours were true. All winter long I heard about Thailand from the other teachers who had gone during Spring Festival in previous years, a tradition at our school. I heard about gorgeous beaches, fun nightlife, and amazing food (including the best hamburger in Asia). It was all true.

We went for two weeks and apart from one night in Bangkok, spent our time on Koh Phangan. This adorable little island isn't the most popular, developed, or expensive of the bunch, so it offers plenty of beautiful scenery and opportunities to chill out. The island is famous for the Full Moon Parties it hosts, and while we weren't there during a full moon, we were just in time to catch a Black Moon Party. It still offers the same body paint and peeing in the ocean experience, but with no moon. Fantastic night!

Here's my highlights from the trip:
1. Night swimming at Yai beach

Shortly after sunset

When heading into the water after midnight here, I was met with the most incredible surprise: glowing plankton! I found out later it's called phytoplankton (check out some amazing photos). With the stars twinkling above, and the water glowing around us, it was absolutely magical. I also may have been naked; apparently that's the best way to enjoy glowing plankton.

2. Scooting around Koh Phangan
Once you drop off your bag at the hotel, scooting is easily the best way to get around the island. It also happens to be the most fun. It also happens to one of the most dangerous activities Thailand offers (see here). So that's fun! But forget the danger and just focus on how those scooters can really move (over 75 km/h), there's tons of hills to bomb, and renting a scooter happens to be cheaper than taking a taxi in most cases! And yes, the optional helmet comes free with the rental.

Scooter rules: 1) Safety first and 2) show plenty of leg.
Photo by Matt B.

3. Muay Thai
Oh goodness, the muay thai fights. I went to two evenings of fighting and really enjoyed them. We saw plenty of exciting action, and some breathtaking knockouts. Competitors were as young as 12 years old (and were downright ferocious, making it the first time I've ever feared a tiny preteen), to the more seasoned mid-thirties (one with over 300 fights on his record). Hopefully the health care on a Thai island is alright, because some of these guys went to sleep in a BIG way.

They're just kids!

I really only had one problem with Thailand. Known for its natural beauty and carefree atmosphere, Thailand attracts every piece of Euro-trash that happens to set foot inside Asia. If you love house music and are currently wearing a backpack, then chances are you'll wash up on a Thai beach at some point in your life. Come on white people, don't ruin it for the rest of us.

Happy Chinese New Year! (featuring Ong Bak 3)

Today I’ll tell you all about Ong Bak 3.

I celebrated Chinese New Year last weekend with my friends, happy Year of the Rabbit to everyone. Amongst the Asian-styled snacks provided by our amazing host Chui Choy, we also had bubble tea and rented Ong Bak 3 from Irben Entertainment, a place on Pembina that has all kinds of Asian (subtitled) movies way before they get released for the rest of Canadians. Don’t worry nerds, yes there’s tons of anime. Calm down.

Anyways, for those that don’t know, the Ong Bak movies (plus The Protector) are straight outta Thailand, and are known largely for the participation of Muay Thai superstar Tony Jaa. Jaa is nothing short of mind-blowing onscreen; the movie highlights how there are no strings or special effects used to achieve his fighting prowess. So when the third movie came out, trust me, I was amped for some flying elbows and backflip kicks.

Unfortunately, there was barely any to be had. Part of the reason that made Ong Bak so great was that the usual reasons that scare people away from foreign movies (subtitled dialogue, a crazy plot that’s hard to follow, people speaking German) were nonexistent. In the first movie, the plot was beyond basic, the dialogue was take it or leave it, and 95% of the movie was Jaa absolutely working people. But as the trilogy has progressed, the ratio of gasp-evoking moves to insane flashbacks slipped it out of the action movie genre and into… foreign films.

The movie is a lot of scenes that don’t seem to fit, spells and tattoos that give off smoke for some reason, and the worst part is Jaa’s character is on crutches for the movie’s majority! Despite a couple short fights that bookend the movie and a few laughs from director Petchtai Wongkamlao in his reassumed role as the village’s local crazy old guy, it’s mostly a slow healing journey of Jaa learning meditation.

So if you’re expecting some fighting, watch Ong Bak and The Protector, and just leave it there. Oh and if you’re short on time, here’s some highlights from both movies- they’ll blow you away. It’s my Chinese New Year gift to you, so imagine you’re taking it out of a red envelope.