See Spot Served in Soup.

This week I ate a dog.

Ok I don't think there was actually enough meat on the table to make up an entire dog, but this week my co-workers and I went out to sample the local dog offerings. I know some people are already white-knuckle-reading this tensely so I won't get too far into detail. There were three dishes: one big pot of soup that reminded me of chicken noodle soup, one small broiled dish with some fattier pieces and vegetables, and a salty, cold dish served with greens.

But don't worry! Overall it definitely was not my favourite meal or meat, and I won't be going around looking for it during my time here in China. It was sometimes salty, and usually stringy and chewy. With all the amazing food I've already had here, there's tons of animals I'd prefer to eat. I mean... I had silkworms on my first day, and I'd WAY rather go for those again. Dang those are tasty, crunchy little devils!

Goodbye Scout. Thanks for the dining experience, couldn't have done it without you. 

This baby’s third degree hot.

Last night I tried Smitty’s hottest wings, Third Degree.

   

 

 AND

Usually I’m more of a hot ranch, hot, sweet chili, electric honey, or lemon pepper wing kind of guy, but I decided to step it up to see how I’d do against a spicy challenge.

Now let me be clear, I can take a bit of spice. I’m not a Norwegian who finds a warm bun spicy, and a pizza bun unbearable. The Portuguese in me allows to me find the joy in dishes with the little pictures of red peppers beside them on the Chinese take out menus. Man this blog is getting cultured!

Ok so anyways I went up a few leagues to the hottest, and found that I was actually pretty comfortable with it! I mean yeah I got a basket of sweet chili as well to balance it out, but I was totally able to eat the Third Degree comfortably without freaking out. Although it was St. Patrick’s Day… so I sort stuck out, being the only one who wasn’t freaking out.

So my question is: where are the wings that make you gasp and fill your mouth with napkins because the water is only making things worse and your tonsils just lit on fire? Let me know if anyone has some advice on this, maybe my next new thing can be reconstructive oral surgery.

Save your money and just punch yourself in the stomach instead.

Last night I ate a Double Down sandwich.

At $7.83, it was the worst most expensive sandwich I’ve ever had. It didn’t come out looking like the commercials; instead it was dry and mismatched. I felt like the luckiest homeless man ever who had found the best garbage to make a meal out of, but nonetheless it was still garbage.

The only thing accurately portrayed in the commercials is how sick you expect to feel after eating. I knew what I was getting into just by seeing the sandwich before, and sure enough I felt like I needed a fresh fruit intravenous to combat the terrible thing I had just subjected my body to. Although I didn’t feel sick until a couple hours after, I instantly felt less attractive after eating it. Ugh… my self esteem is still trying to bounce back.