Forgot About Hong Kong

If you're going to visit Hong Kong, take it from me: it has so much more to offer than just China's visa office!

Recently I flew down to HK to get a new visa that will allow me to continue working in China, which really isn't the best way to go, but between waiting in line and paying for photocopies, some other teachers and I were able to catch a bit of that big city colonial HK charm on our quick two-day trip.

You read it right- that's blueberry syrup!

Biggest I've ever had and top ten overall

Even though I'd only been back in Asia for a month, HK offered a paradise of Western civilization that I haven't had a chance to miss yet. Big breakfasts, bigger pizza, supermarkets with chocolate chips... actually yeah it was mostly just food. Oh and I played basketball with some locals, which is something I try to do everywhere I go! We were also able to check out some tourist spots, like riding the tram up to Victoria Peak, shopping at the popular Ladies and Temple Street markets, and taking the Star Ferry to scope out the bay.

When we weren't busy doing all that, we were chilling at my friend's magnificent hotel. It had a slight edge over my 9 beds to each bathroom hostel, so we opted to meet there instead. From enjoying the view from the rooftop pool to enjoying the warm peanuts and raisin medley and FREE WATER in the hotel bar, it really felt like I was doing HK in style. Shout out to having one rich friend in the group! Thanks again Sean!

Welcome to The Clubhouse

Today I get you a membership.

Obviously, one of the reasons you read this blog is how connected it instantly makes you. The insider tips on living in China, the little lessons in speaking Mandarin, and the coupons I mail my followers each month. Today, I give you the lowdown on one of Jilin's hidden gems. 

It's a barbecue restaurant with a fantastic deal: all you can eat and drink for 35 yuan (about $6 CAD). Now usually we go there after another restaurant because for that price you figure the food can't be great, but we went and had dinner a couple nights ago and I was pleasantly surprised. You can pick as much meat and vegetables and fish and tofu and whatever else as you want, throw it all in your frying pan at the center of each table, and away you go! After that, there's a random and constantly-changing assortment of cookies and snacks that I can't easily identify. 

Coolers full of food to cook, shelves full of snacks, and a make-your-own-sauce bar.

The Clubhouse earned its name for being an extremely relaxed and fun place to spend several hours. It just builds friendships. We've often stayed into the night, and it's an environment where we're free to yell loudly, and sing our favourite songs from Disney's Mulan even more loudly. Not only that, but our frequent visits have led to a friendship with the guy there, which has led to discounts on what's already the cheapest deal ever. He knows us pretty well too; for example he knows that I can be a heavy drinker, so the other night there were 5 bottles of Pepsi waiting for me at the table before I even sat down. The man just gets me. 

Just the clear ones are mine.

Whenever I hear we're going to The Clubhouse, I'm in. I've never not had a good time there, and I'm always down to go sit, eat way too many frosted peanuts, and drink enough Pepsi to keep me up all night. There's the time I got enough free ice cream for everyone by making friends with the next table, that strange moment when a man who clearly didn't speak English inexplicably warned us "DON'T SWIM!" and then disappeared into the night, or the time a Chinese stranger and I stood side by side to pee outside in the winter when the restaurant's one tiny bathroom was occupied. It's always an experience.

But you may be wondering: Is this place legit? How can they just give away food and alcohol like that? Is it actually a money-laundering outfit for the Chinese mafia? 

You ask too many questions. Be quiet and eat some more.

Making Dumplings

This week we made dumplings at school.

Every once in a while my school puts together an activity or outing to give us experiences with Chinese culture, and probably also to some degree secretly work on team-building, and this week it was making dumplings.

Gene, one of my managers, explains the history of dumplings to some foreigners

We got together at school, and with our team of teachers and staff, assembled over 600 of the little darlings. It just goes to show that great things can be accomplished with an hour and an army of Chinese workers. The Chinese staff was quick to help me out with my beginner dumpling-making status, but I'm afraid I have not mastered this delicate art quite yet. The good news however, was that there was a bevy of people who were WAY better at it to show me the way.

Photo by Noel M.

This was actually not my first time making dumplings, and I didn't see much improvement from the first time. One of the most common criticisms of my dumpling style is that I try to use too much filling. It's a bold move, on a dangerous line, but someone has to walk this soft, thin, floured tightrope and I'm up to the task. The problem is that when I made dumplings before, they all turned out very small... which inspired my Chinese nickname, Xiǎo jiǎo zi ("little dumpling"). So this time I really tried to hone my craft and make some reasonably sized ones. I think 1 in 5 turned out.

Photo by Noel M.

Now although this may not have been my first time making dumplings, it was my first time stuffing myself with more dumplings than I wanted to eat. This time, I wasn't in it for the delicious flavour- I was in it for the cash. You see, someone had secretly slipped coins into a few of the dumplings, and if you bit into a coin, you stood to make win big money! Think of it as a savoury version of Willy Wonka's golden tickets. Every new pan of freshly steamed dumplings brought on an ambush of eager eaters, all wanting to stab that mouthwatering coin.  

Attack!

Unfortunately, no matter how much I gorged myself, I couldn't find any metal in my food, leaving me with only a fantastic meal to soothe the stomach of a loser. I'll survive. 

Some of the money I'll never get- it's a Chinese tradition!

Serving at an International Level

This week I was a Chinese waiter. 

If there's one thing people absolutely love, it's a brand-new waiter that doesn't speak the right language. He can't get you anything, he can't read the menu, and he doesn't know where anything is. It's a good thing no one in China works for tips, because I wouldn't make any. I was actually working in exchange for the restaurant owner's secret recipe miân tao (might not be spelled right), which is basically China's take on mini-doughnuts. 

I'll still need practice. 

It started as a joke. Despite a sizeable language barrier, I've become pretty good friends with the owner of my favourite restaurant. I call him Quing-ge, which as far as I can tell, means some portion of his name, and "older brother" as a sign of respect. So while I was hanging out there, enjoying a plate of miân tao (Wow you are learning so much Chinese!) one evening, he said he could teach me how to cook Chinese food. That sounded great to me, and I mimed being a waiter, saying I could pay him back by becoming an employee. We all had a nice laugh. But then I actually showed up.

We did the cooking lesson as planned; that was great and there will be more to come. But I don't think anyone expected me to actually stick around and do something! I pushed through the early doubts, and in no time fell back into my old serving habits acquired from 3 years' experience in Canada: sitting down at guests' tables, balancing plates, and flirting with the waitresses.

They thought they looked too tiny in the standing up picture. Photo by Andy.

So once everyone figured out that there was really little I could actually do, I just relegated myself to busboy and got busy with quiet tasks like clearing tables and sweeping up. It become abundantly clear that I was incompetent when a guest asked for toothpicks and I couldn't get it. Seriously? When someone says and mimes a toothpicking action and you don't pick up on it, it's time to hang up your apron.

I put in a full shift... in Western terms. I was at the restaurant for over 8 hours, but that doesn't constitute a full Chinese shift. A Chinese shift is approximately the entire day. To illustrate, those aforementioned waitresses were pretty excited to work with me. But I think they were pretty easily excited, because for a month they were living in the back of the restaurant and working from 9 AM to around midnight. And that was how they spent their vacation from university! So sure, if a white guy stumbles up and wants to be a bad waiter, it's fun to look at.

My friend and restaurant regular, Andy. We throw up a lot of peace signs.

That whole shift, I was just hoping I wouldn't hear "FÚ WÙ YUÁN!!" yelled at me. It means 'waiter' and guests just yell it out around here... the easiest pronunciation I can describe for it is "foo," and then saying "You are" really quickly. "Foo Ya'arr!" Please not me please not me not me not me not me....

If I could read the name I'd tell you it.

See Spot Served in Soup.

This week I ate a dog.

Ok I don't think there was actually enough meat on the table to make up an entire dog, but this week my co-workers and I went out to sample the local dog offerings. I know some people are already white-knuckle-reading this tensely so I won't get too far into detail. There were three dishes: one big pot of soup that reminded me of chicken noodle soup, one small broiled dish with some fattier pieces and vegetables, and a salty, cold dish served with greens.

But don't worry! Overall it definitely was not my favourite meal or meat, and I won't be going around looking for it during my time here in China. It was sometimes salty, and usually stringy and chewy. With all the amazing food I've already had here, there's tons of animals I'd prefer to eat. I mean... I had silkworms on my first day, and I'd WAY rather go for those again. Dang those are tasty, crunchy little devils!

Goodbye Scout. Thanks for the dining experience, couldn't have done it without you.