Crappy Real Estate Photography

Check out my latest Chinese apartment!

My room! And the most made my bed will ever be!

I moved in over a month ago, so it's high time I showed everyone around. This place definitely has charm, but it also has plenty of weird features that can't be explained. Too many features that no one has ever asked for.

Let's start with the basics: 2 bedrooms (although one bedroom is 2 rooms), 1 bathroom, 1 study that I converted into a yoga studio by keeping it empty), 1 kitchen, 1 living room. There's a washing machine on the balcony, and plenty of pole to hang drying clothes from out there. Closet space galore; this whole apartment is covered in cupboards. The kitchen came with a stove (1 working element) and fridge, and I bought a little oven as well. 

Big enough for a Thanksgiving duck

Now for the interesting stuff. First, the bathroom. Take a look!

Did you see it? Look again. In case you didn't notice it, I've highlighted it for you in this next identical picture. 

A urinal! Yes every guy thinks he wants a urinal until he has to clean a barely functioning urinal all the time. This immediately made my "Do Not Pee In" list. Next up, the shower.

I feel bad using the word shower, because it's so much more than that! It's really more of an experience. CD player, in-shower speakers, rainfall faucet, interior water jets... AND NONE OF IT WORKS. The doors slide closed to create an airtight chamber, so what I'm left with is a shower too short to stand up in, and too narrow to turn around in comfortably. There is a small seat in there as well, which has actually come in quite handy and made weeping alone a lot more relaxing. Yes sir this is really where all the magic happens, and by that I mean David Blaine once spent 50 moonless nights locked inside underwater. 

Next, the lighting. Tired of boring overhead lights at your entrance which conveniently allow you to see everything as soon as you come in the door? I thought so. How about lighting up your shoes instead? Not good enough you say? I'll throw in a glass floor panel with fake grass underneath! IT'S LIKE YOU'RE STILL OUTSIDE! Walking Christmas lights, trophy case lights, palm tree sconces... if you want inadequate, fancy lighting, you'd feel right at home squinting your way around here!

Come on in!

Overall, I'm a fan of this apartment. Spacious, nice views, river adjacent, and a nice quiet community. The cockroaches are only winning 3-2 (3 sightings, only 2 killings), and the previous tenants left me with a lot of useful stuff. I'm really starting to feel settled and at home here. Maybe one day I'll figure out my address! 

Forgot About Hong Kong

If you're going to visit Hong Kong, take it from me: it has so much more to offer than just China's visa office!

Recently I flew down to HK to get a new visa that will allow me to continue working in China, which really isn't the best way to go, but between waiting in line and paying for photocopies, some other teachers and I were able to catch a bit of that big city colonial HK charm on our quick two-day trip.

You read it right- that's blueberry syrup!

Biggest I've ever had and top ten overall

Even though I'd only been back in Asia for a month, HK offered a paradise of Western civilization that I haven't had a chance to miss yet. Big breakfasts, bigger pizza, supermarkets with chocolate chips... actually yeah it was mostly just food. Oh and I played basketball with some locals, which is something I try to do everywhere I go! We were also able to check out some tourist spots, like riding the tram up to Victoria Peak, shopping at the popular Ladies and Temple Street markets, and taking the Star Ferry to scope out the bay.

When we weren't busy doing all that, we were chilling at my friend's magnificent hotel. It had a slight edge over my 9 beds to each bathroom hostel, so we opted to meet there instead. From enjoying the view from the rooftop pool to enjoying the warm peanuts and raisin medley and FREE WATER in the hotel bar, it really felt like I was doing HK in style. Shout out to having one rich friend in the group! Thanks again Sean!

Abandoned German Mall in China

If you have any idea how an entire mall with German architecture got uprooted from Western Europe and plopped down onto an island in the middle of a river in the middle of a Chinese city, let me know.

Hiding behind the bridge

When I heard that there was an abandoned mall in my new home city of Fuzhou, I needed to be there. I have no idea what happened, but today this mall is almost completely empty, save for a few people trying to make a go of running their own stores on the property, and a couple of squatters we woke up accidentally.

Fine line between looting and getting a bargain

When you go up the broken escalators to the top, you're able to get onto the roof and even up a tower to enjoy some wonderful views of the city.

There's that bridge again!

... and some parts are pink!

Next time you're in Fuzhou, check this place out! Then do some parkour? Then send me the video.

Old Trip to Xi'an

During my last month in China we went on a trip to a couple different cities. The first one was Xi'an, and I've finally put together the video from that trip! It features a few of my favourite moments from our time there: biking the city wall, checking out pagodas, and impressing ladies through the universal language of sweet roller skating moves.

Also, travelling tip here- Xi'an is home to the world famous Terracotta Warriors, a huge tourist attraction. The story goes that an emperor had the stone army made to protect him in the afterlife. My opinion however, is that if you're in Xi'an one day, don't bother with them. As you can see from how short their portion of the video is, I didn't think there was much to see. It's definitely impressive that people carved so many statues to such detail, but I wasn't blown away like I was in other places (like the Great Wall for example). So imagine hundreds of life-size statues, then hundreds more. That's the Terracotta Warriors, and there are thousands of 'em.

Obit-Shoe-ary

Today I say goodbye.

It's with sad feet and a heavy heart that I say goodbye to my favourite shoes, my Supra Vaiders in Black Action and White. They were size 12.

Were it not for the strict luggage restrictions of air travel, my Supras would have enjoyed a relaxing retirement back in Canada; resting comfortably on a soft mat near the door, and slipped on only for short sunny walks to pick up the mail, or times of "Hang on, I just need to grab something from my car". Unfortunately, although they had many good years of stylishness left, they didn't make it home from China, and passed away comfortably, as was their way. 

It's at this time we look back and consider what a full life these Supras lived. They worked-hard, they were energetic, and even though they were bold and strong, they had a knack for making people comfortable. There was no challenge that my Supras could not face. They braved the sidewalks for years of Canadian winters, and the heat of Florida's theme parks. They walked the beaches of Thailand, and explored the markets of Chinese alleyways. Whether with shorts or pants, these courageous shoes could face any pressure, and look good doing it.

These Supra Vaiders are survived by their younger brother, my Supra Vaiders in Navy and Pink. 

A short ceremony was held outside my apartment, as my Supras and their brother-in-arms, that pair of Osiris' with the buckles, were laid to rest inside a small Chinese dumpster. 

I'd like to thank my Supras for their years of support. You will be missed; I will reflect lovingly on you whenever my calves look amazing, or I adjust my pant leg to accommodate a different pair of high-tops, or- hang on, I just need to grab something from my car.

Goodbye sweet Supras.

Sidewalk Bicycle Repair Shop

Today I got my bicycle fixed.

A Chinese classic, apparently.

I totally forgot to tell you, but I bought a bike a couple weeks ago! The bridge closest to my house is closed, and I've been spending too much money on taxis and too much time in backseats instead of out getting that light exercise we all love so much.

Now I know what you're thinking, "Andrew... you're leaving China in a few weeks- why would you by a bike now?" Well let me tell you, you buy a bike and you're saving money! My price range is right within the "old, used, and possibly stolen" category, and that kind of bike is dang cheap. I picked up this beaut for 80 yuan, and the guy said he he'd give me 60 yuan for it if I sell it back. Basically it's a 2 month lease commitment with a possible buy back option. Pretty serious.

Let me tell you, this bike is loaded. Dual chrome handlebars, dual tires, dual pedals, almost dual everything actually. After my repairs today I've got a new back axle, back tire tube, and one of those screw on valve thingies you put the air into. He did great work; sometimes the best repairmen are just guys who set up shop on the sidewalk. The guy even installed another brake on the back tire, so I'm rolling with quad brakes if you can believe it- that's dual back brakes and dual front brakes.

Oooo- this brand! 

After-market custom seat cover

The bike merchant threw in a lock for 5 yuan, although I don't think anyone would steal this 

The brand new valve (solid gold) and that shiny new brake pad

......... DUAL.

Western Walmart

A couple days ago I led a field trip.

All the good kids get ice cream! And me!

Sure, I've been a participant in field trips before. Tons of them! But I've never led one before, until now. I took our giant class of FOUR advanced campers (and by that I mean students) to Walmart! I created a scavenger hunt for them, with questions to answer and new words to learn. It was a really fun morning, and I'm sure you remember how a good field trip is SO MUCH BETTER than another day at boring old school. I mean camp! It's not school... it's camp! Camp for learning English in a classroom.

One of the challenges was to find a piece of clothing that would look amazing on Andrew.

Checking out some English on a t-shirt.

I loved how relaxed a Chinese field trip can be. There were no permission slips or waivers, no strict schedules, and get this- the kids actually wanted to wear those giant orange shirts! We strolled over from the school, chatting, which simultaneously blew my mind that I can talk to Chinese 11 year olds in English so easily.  Since their level is so advanced for their age, it meant we could joke around and have fun while checking out everything in the store.

No matter what country you're in, Walmart will only open 2 checkout lanes.

A great class... now I just need to figure out something to do with them next week!

Thanks to Lily for the pictures.