Hit the Books

This week I had my first Chinese test.

Photos by Conor

I wanted to write this post two days ago when I actually had it, but I was too exhausted from staying up the night before, eating chocolate chips and avoiding actual studying. It was just like my old college days, but with less stamina!

Over many difficult hours of diligent chocolate consumption I was able to create the material for my 3 minute presentation, a comparative discussion regarding the weather of my current city and hometown, and my feelings on the issue of "weather".

How many pictures of me until you feel like you were actually there?

This test was for my weekly Chinese class, and I'm very glad we had it. I definitely don't work hard enough on my Chinese by myself, and I'm the type of student that needs tangible goals and challenges like tests to push myself to really hustle. I guess living in the country where knowing Chinese would make so much easier isn't... tangible... enough for me.

I fully understand that this is a small milestone, come on, it's not even an HSK test, but I'm thankful for any Chinese that I pick up that can actually stick FOR CRYING OUT LOUD PLEASE LET THIS STICK. We're taking a break from class for winter course and Spring Festival, so I'll be out of practice. Ask me about the weather in a month; we'll see if this testing thing works.

January Heatwave

Yesterday I went to the neighbourhood beach. 

I've never spent longer than a month in a place like Fuzhou, and I have to say that I'm really enjoying life in a place where winter doesn't come with mountains of snow and scraping my car windows every morning. As a Canadian kid, a January 4th beach day sounds bizarre, but yesterday we enjoyed an unexpectedly warm day with rarely seen blue sky all over the place. Thankfully we were able to take full advantage; since it was our day off we spent the whole afternoon there, throwing the frisbee and football around, and watching the old men be amazing at flying kites. 

OK so the sky wasn't "blue" ALL day...

What about the swimming, you ask? Settle down there cowboy, this is still China. Sure, the sand was surprisingly nice for a beach on a Chinese river, but I don't know if I'm ready to be jumping into that can of worms just yet.  

I've always wanted to live by the beach, and although it may not be Hawaii, I'm thankful to have this spot across the street.

Chinese Christmas Spectacular

One of the questions I always get around last week is "What's Christmas in China like?" so today I'll recap the holidays here. First, there are no holidays.

You're very likely to see fancy, decorated apples for sale in December, because somehow Chinese people are under the impression that Westerners give each other apples for Christmas. Personally, I've never gotten an apple, and I STILL haven't gotten an apple (thanks a lot, students).

For the low price of 4 regular apples!

These overpriced apples reflect the big picture, that basically all that has made it over from the West is Christmas' commercialism. Malls play Christmas music that no one understands and stores sell decorations not many people want, but apart from that the average person has no interest or knowledge about this foreign celebration. It's strange to see decorations put up in such a setting, like I'm in a private joke everyone else is just humouring me with.

Decorations at a nightclub, DJ in the background

Although, sometimes their mysterious displays of our customs can be handy for expats. It's tough to get into the Christmas spirit here, but their Christmas efforts definitely help, like the buffet put on by a hotel here in Fuzhou. Since we work at a foreign school, they're nice enough to give us Christmas Day off, so on Christmas Day we all got dressed up in button-down shirts and ate until those buttons popped off. Turkey, gravy, bread, cheese, sushi, chocolate cake... we all got to eat something we'd been missing to make us feel at home, or perhaps miss home even more. In any case, all the white people saying "Merry Christmas!" to each other helped as well.

Decorations in the lobby. Photo by Andy

Stuffed to the smiles. Photo by Sean

These kind of activities are possible when living in a community of expats, and another one is the classic Secret Santa, which will help make any office feel like a Western office. There's nothing like trying to find that perfect gift for someone, going shopping to find weird Western things for them, then gathering 'round the tree in the library, feeling the excitement of tearing open a box to find exactly what you were hoping for, the one thing on your Christmas list: chocolate!

Let the rationing begin!

Excited like kids on Christmas morning

The final part of Christmas that affects me is also at school. Christmas-themed lessons are popular in schools to teach English topics, and my school is no exception. We had Christmas activity classes a couple weeks before the big day, spending the time making winter crafts and playing Christmasy games. Oh and of course Santa, played by a Chinese woman, came by with treats.

Exciting Christmas brainstorming session

I made a snowman!

So what did we learn? For some people living far away from their friends and family, the holidays can be a difficult time. You may miss home more, and you may even resent where you're at because of it. But it's like I found when I celebrated my first Thanksgiving in China, two years ago. There are plenty of people around, just like you, away from what and who they know and love, but together you can create something. It will be different; it might not match the holiday traditions you're used to, because come on, it's tough to find all the ingredients for Mom's recipe and you can't even make it as well as her anyway, but it will be a celebration with people looking out for each other. Besides, who you teach with becomes like your family, because remember this: you can't choose your family, and you can't pick the nutjobs that travel 6,000 miles to teach Chinese kids how to say 'instruments'.

Merry Christmas everybody!

Kindergarten Christmas

This week we brought Santa to Kindergarten.

At first, I was really nervous to show up at a strange school and teach lessons to 4 and 5 year olds who have most likely never had a foreign teacher or interacted with a foreigner, and probably have never seen a foreigner in real life before. But after doing this a few times, I've come to accept how crazy the situation is and embrace the freedom in being such an evanescent part of their lives.

I think they put the naughty kids up there. 

As part of my job, once a month I head to two nearby kindergartens to teach classes. Along with a bilingual teaching assistant, I present 20-minute vocabulary lessons to the kids that aren't crying. Thankfully, I've been teaching the same children for the three outings I've had so far, so they're getting used to me and the number of tears is decreasing.

You're OK you're ok youreokyoureokyoureok.....

Here's how it works: one Wednesday a month, I show up at school and am told what vocabulary I will be teaching. Last week it was body parts, and last month it was snail, crab, and butterfly. Since I have such tiny kids, there aren't a lot of activities I can do, so planning is simple. We take taxis over to the school, wait around in the playground until the kids are finished their water breaks or playtime or whatever is happening, and then we teach! Walk to the next kindergarten and repeat!

Waiting around that playground

It seems like these students are learning English the same way I'm learning Chinese: taking classes once a week, and then immediately forgetting the material afterwards. It's not the best system, but there's very little pressure on the teacher this way. Of course, they are tiny babies, so I'm not surprised they can't remember how to say 'snail' from a month ago, but what's my excuse? I should really get some Chinese review going.

Anyways, with Christmas around the corner, Santa came along to hand out candy. It was actually my branch manager in a costume! Do these kids know who Santa is? Hard to say! Were they willing to put up with another white guy to get candy? You betcha.

NOT happy with his candy trade offer.

Scoot Scoot!

Last year I was showing off my beautiful, old, junky bicycle, but nowadays it's big city, big bike for this boy! China is all about moving on up, so here's the next level: a scooter! A Heart Good Time Star Scooter! I don't know if that's the actual model name, but that's what it says on the front!

Possibly some horsepower in there?

Let's talk specs: I don't know any! It runs on a battery, doesn't require a license plate, and transforms into sidewalk mode when the situation calls for it. I charge it overnight under my apartment building every two or three days. It could definitely run for longer, but I'm a man who enjoys a full, stiff battery. Plus you never know what challenges you might face tomorrow; you may need to carry a passenger or go up a hill!

I picked this baby up used from another teacher at my school about a month after moving to Fuzhou, because I quickly realized how popular scooters and e-bikes are in this city. On major streets they usually rival the number of pedestrians, especially when you factor in how many e-bikes are carrying families of three. So far it's been really convenient, both for my daily commute to school and for longer trips to the large Westernized grocery stores. 

Notice the repair job I did using only zip ties

It's a lot of fun to drive! Sure, the traffic here can get a little crazy, but with so many two-wheelers on the road, drivers are a lot more aware of us than they are in Canada. It's chaotic, but there's a different kind of organization within the relaxed rules that lends confidence to drivers. I just have to keep watching out for those street cleaning trucks that just launch water everywhere while blaring "It's A Small World" over loudspeakers. Dive, dive! 

Serious airtime on that kickstand

Crappy Real Estate Photography

Check out my latest Chinese apartment!

My room! And the most made my bed will ever be!

I moved in over a month ago, so it's high time I showed everyone around. This place definitely has charm, but it also has plenty of weird features that can't be explained. Too many features that no one has ever asked for.

Let's start with the basics: 2 bedrooms (although one bedroom is 2 rooms), 1 bathroom, 1 study that I converted into a yoga studio by keeping it empty), 1 kitchen, 1 living room. There's a washing machine on the balcony, and plenty of pole to hang drying clothes from out there. Closet space galore; this whole apartment is covered in cupboards. The kitchen came with a stove (1 working element) and fridge, and I bought a little oven as well. 

Big enough for a Thanksgiving duck

Now for the interesting stuff. First, the bathroom. Take a look!

Did you see it? Look again. In case you didn't notice it, I've highlighted it for you in this next identical picture. 

A urinal! Yes every guy thinks he wants a urinal until he has to clean a barely functioning urinal all the time. This immediately made my "Do Not Pee In" list. Next up, the shower.

I feel bad using the word shower, because it's so much more than that! It's really more of an experience. CD player, in-shower speakers, rainfall faucet, interior water jets... AND NONE OF IT WORKS. The doors slide closed to create an airtight chamber, so what I'm left with is a shower too short to stand up in, and too narrow to turn around in comfortably. There is a small seat in there as well, which has actually come in quite handy and made weeping alone a lot more relaxing. Yes sir this is really where all the magic happens, and by that I mean David Blaine once spent 50 moonless nights locked inside underwater. 

Next, the lighting. Tired of boring overhead lights at your entrance which conveniently allow you to see everything as soon as you come in the door? I thought so. How about lighting up your shoes instead? Not good enough you say? I'll throw in a glass floor panel with fake grass underneath! IT'S LIKE YOU'RE STILL OUTSIDE! Walking Christmas lights, trophy case lights, palm tree sconces... if you want inadequate, fancy lighting, you'd feel right at home squinting your way around here!

Come on in!

Overall, I'm a fan of this apartment. Spacious, nice views, river adjacent, and a nice quiet community. The cockroaches are only winning 3-2 (3 sightings, only 2 killings), and the previous tenants left me with a lot of useful stuff. I'm really starting to feel settled and at home here. Maybe one day I'll figure out my address! 

Forgot About Hong Kong

If you're going to visit Hong Kong, take it from me: it has so much more to offer than just China's visa office!

Recently I flew down to HK to get a new visa that will allow me to continue working in China, which really isn't the best way to go, but between waiting in line and paying for photocopies, some other teachers and I were able to catch a bit of that big city colonial HK charm on our quick two-day trip.

You read it right- that's blueberry syrup!

Biggest I've ever had and top ten overall

Even though I'd only been back in Asia for a month, HK offered a paradise of Western civilization that I haven't had a chance to miss yet. Big breakfasts, bigger pizza, supermarkets with chocolate chips... actually yeah it was mostly just food. Oh and I played basketball with some locals, which is something I try to do everywhere I go! We were also able to check out some tourist spots, like riding the tram up to Victoria Peak, shopping at the popular Ladies and Temple Street markets, and taking the Star Ferry to scope out the bay.

When we weren't busy doing all that, we were chilling at my friend's magnificent hotel. It had a slight edge over my 9 beds to each bathroom hostel, so we opted to meet there instead. From enjoying the view from the rooftop pool to enjoying the warm peanuts and raisin medley and FREE WATER in the hotel bar, it really felt like I was doing HK in style. Shout out to having one rich friend in the group! Thanks again Sean!

Sidewalk Bicycle Repair Shop

Today I got my bicycle fixed.

A Chinese classic, apparently.

I totally forgot to tell you, but I bought a bike a couple weeks ago! The bridge closest to my house is closed, and I've been spending too much money on taxis and too much time in backseats instead of out getting that light exercise we all love so much.

Now I know what you're thinking, "Andrew... you're leaving China in a few weeks- why would you by a bike now?" Well let me tell you, you buy a bike and you're saving money! My price range is right within the "old, used, and possibly stolen" category, and that kind of bike is dang cheap. I picked up this beaut for 80 yuan, and the guy said he he'd give me 60 yuan for it if I sell it back. Basically it's a 2 month lease commitment with a possible buy back option. Pretty serious.

Let me tell you, this bike is loaded. Dual chrome handlebars, dual tires, dual pedals, almost dual everything actually. After my repairs today I've got a new back axle, back tire tube, and one of those screw on valve thingies you put the air into. He did great work; sometimes the best repairmen are just guys who set up shop on the sidewalk. The guy even installed another brake on the back tire, so I'm rolling with quad brakes if you can believe it- that's dual back brakes and dual front brakes.

Oooo- this brand! 

After-market custom seat cover

The bike merchant threw in a lock for 5 yuan, although I don't think anyone would steal this 

The brand new valve (solid gold) and that shiny new brake pad

......... DUAL.

The Overnight Train

This past week I took the overnight train.

We went to Beijing for our "spring break," the little vacation we get for China's Labour Day (May 1). I taught my evening classes and we caught the train at around 9:30 PM, then about 12 hours later we arrived in Beijing. It was a long journey, but the comfort of the train really made it easy! We sprung for the "soft sleeper," which means you get your own bed in a room of 4. I shared the room with my two coworkers and a random Chinese guy who admittedly presented some snoring issues early on, but settled down pretty quickly.

Matt got the top bunk.

I've often heard what I thought to be an outdated opinion, that there is some class and sophistication to train travel, and now I can completely understand it. It hit me while brushing my teeth in the room with a bunch of sinks: the comfortable bed big enough for even me to stretch out on, the very affordable cost compared to air travel, even the Western toilet- everything added up to a wonderful experience that made being crammed into a jet seem even more miserable. I boarded at night, spent time with friends in our own room, fell asleep, woke up refreshed and did my morning routines, and suddenly I was in another city on a beautiful morning. Now I'm a fan of the overnight train, and I'll be looking to do it again!

Shhhhh..... bed time.....

It's All Just so Terribly Confusing

Today I don't know what to do.

There comes a time in each foreign teacher's life when he must decide what to do next. For me, that time officially began today. I was approached and asked what my plans were regarding my contract, and sadly I had no answer. The decision is between leaving when my contract is up or extending my contract to stay for another summer.

I enjoyed my previous summer in Jilin immensely, and I'm sure I would enjoy the next one as well. The problem is, I don't know how long to stay here in China, and when to start looking for the next opportunity (wherever it might be). 

I've written before on the emotional difficulties of teaching abroad; signing a year long contract means a lot of goodbyes, and unfortunately, I can feel mine getting closer. I don't like that feeling. I'm dreading the moment I'll say goodbye to my students and leave them after what seems like such a short time. I still have so much more English to teach them! At the same time, I know I can't, and won't, stay here forever. My co-workers that I've spent a year with will be leaving soon, and sooner or later I need to join them and make a move. 

So for now it's a lot of thinking and praying. Am I done with China now? I wonder what's next.

Welcome to The Clubhouse

Today I get you a membership.

Obviously, one of the reasons you read this blog is how connected it instantly makes you. The insider tips on living in China, the little lessons in speaking Mandarin, and the coupons I mail my followers each month. Today, I give you the lowdown on one of Jilin's hidden gems. 

It's a barbecue restaurant with a fantastic deal: all you can eat and drink for 35 yuan (about $6 CAD). Now usually we go there after another restaurant because for that price you figure the food can't be great, but we went and had dinner a couple nights ago and I was pleasantly surprised. You can pick as much meat and vegetables and fish and tofu and whatever else as you want, throw it all in your frying pan at the center of each table, and away you go! After that, there's a random and constantly-changing assortment of cookies and snacks that I can't easily identify. 

Coolers full of food to cook, shelves full of snacks, and a make-your-own-sauce bar.

The Clubhouse earned its name for being an extremely relaxed and fun place to spend several hours. It just builds friendships. We've often stayed into the night, and it's an environment where we're free to yell loudly, and sing our favourite songs from Disney's Mulan even more loudly. Not only that, but our frequent visits have led to a friendship with the guy there, which has led to discounts on what's already the cheapest deal ever. He knows us pretty well too; for example he knows that I can be a heavy drinker, so the other night there were 5 bottles of Pepsi waiting for me at the table before I even sat down. The man just gets me. 

Just the clear ones are mine.

Whenever I hear we're going to The Clubhouse, I'm in. I've never not had a good time there, and I'm always down to go sit, eat way too many frosted peanuts, and drink enough Pepsi to keep me up all night. There's the time I got enough free ice cream for everyone by making friends with the next table, that strange moment when a man who clearly didn't speak English inexplicably warned us "DON'T SWIM!" and then disappeared into the night, or the time a Chinese stranger and I stood side by side to pee outside in the winter when the restaurant's one tiny bathroom was occupied. It's always an experience.

But you may be wondering: Is this place legit? How can they just give away food and alcohol like that? Is it actually a money-laundering outfit for the Chinese mafia? 

You ask too many questions. Be quiet and eat some more.

A Chinese Workout: 5 Differences

Well, we are over 2 months into your New Year's Resolution; how's it holding up? In case you're still heading to the gym, here are 5 differences between that gym and a Chinese gym.

1. No Rules

There aren't really any rules at the gym, and the few that exist are pretty relaxed. For example, there's no smoking allowed in the gym, but in the locker room is fine. (Ah... evidently there's nothing like that first completely naked smoke after a workout.) You also aren't supposed to take your shirt off, but it's ok if you're SUPER hot on the treadmills or you want to check out your pec progress in the weight room mirrors. If flexibility is one of your goals, a Chinese gym has you covered.

Re-racking your weights? Not a rule, not a thing.

 2. No Wipe Downs

I see people complaining about others not wiping down their machines at Western gyms, but my gym doesn't even give you the option. There's no disinfectant or paper towels anywhere, and the full-time cleaning staff has their hands full with constantly mopping the floors to keep them forever slippery. We call that Priority Training. As a result, the machines have enough DNA on them to spawn a super-human, and the heart-rate readers will still sense a heartbeat with your hands in the air. 

3. Cheaper than Being at Home

Although a Chinese gym may come with some drawbacks, I just remind myself that being a member is dirt cheap. It cost me $100 CAD for a full year! For a fully-equipped gym that includes classes, that's the cheapest thing I've ever heard. Plus... it comes with a free locker! No more quarters! There is no Chinese quarter!

I had to crop all the nudity out.

4. Alternative Workouts

On any given evening, two of the most popular pieces of equipment will be the ping-pong and pool tables. I had never seen these offered in a gym before, but people here REALLY get into them. (Those stereotypes about amazing Chinese ping-pong players? They're true.) Anyways, these options mean that sometimes you'll see a person come and put on gym clothes to play pool for some reason. 

I'm too scared to challenge these guys.

 5. Gym Fashion

Speaking of gym clothes, the workout outfits might be the most interesting part of the gym. So far I've found that Chinese fashion includes ANY article of clothing, in any circumstance or combination. This remains true after people hit the locker room, meaning that I've seen everything from a denim jacket to matching pajamas. The strangest one I saw happened last week: a guy on a treadmill wearing leather pants, a shirt with a massive Union Jack, and a fedora. He brought a gym bag with him too... so who knows what he changed OUT of.

4 Differences Between Chinese and Canadian Hospitals

Welcome to the hospital!

1. Showtime
At a Chinese hospital, you say goodbye to your privacy as soon as you walk in and pay your 7 yuan entrance fee. Whether you're describing your symptoms or getting examined (or both), expect there to be about 8 non-staff members in the room. Thankfully what I was in for wasn't terrible personal. but I did have a captivated audience when I popped part of my top to let the stethoscope roam about.

2. Have a Seat
Instead of wearing sneakers and dashing about from room to room, doctors in Chinese hospitals sit at desks behind computers, and you come to them. Then you go get a test done and walk the results back to him or her for approval. They also perform examinations while sitting down, so forget any tests that require straightened knees. Who needs all that looking into your eyes and ears anyways? I'm sure they're fine.

3. Quick-Acting
I'm sure that numbers 1 and 2 are factors in this, but Chinese hospitals are pretty fast. Even with a designated lunch break for all the doctors, things move along. Once you take privacy and thorough examinations out of the way, medicine can get going! For example, when you get a blood test, you don't need to get a little room and wait for the technician. You just stick your arm through a window in the waiting room, and then make way for the guy in line behind you. It's basically a blood drive-thru, and we all know how fast those can be.

4. Here's your IV
The default, go-to treatment in a Chinese hospital is administering an IV. I'd never had an IV before coming here, but now I've been to the hospital twice and both times was prescribed IV's. I have no idea what my diagnoses were, but they were IV worthy. It's gotten to the point where I love IV's.... and every time I go I'll be hoping to get one. It's nice, you relax and half-sleep while watching Kung Fu Panda 2 and the magical bag does all the work for you. Mmmmm I can just feel that cool liquid (whatever it is) working its way into my hand... I could really go for some right now.

IV selfie!

Saying Goodbye

Last week I said goodbye to this guy.

Phil on his last night in the fanciest hotel lobby in Jilin

That's Phil, and although he's the fourth teacher to leave my school since I started here, he's the first one that I worked with long enough to really get to know. The dynamic of a few English-speakers working together in a foreign city can create a pretty tight-knit group, and he was right in there. He extended his year-long contract with Kenneth's English, staying until just hours before spending Christmas with his family back in Canada. I'm really glad he stayed longer in Jilin, because over the last couple months we were able to spend more time having fun, and I appreciated that opportunity.

That being said, I'm starting to realize the tough aspects that accompany a job with so many temporary elements. Everyone signs a one year contract, which at first may seem kind of long. But with all these teachers coming and going, the discrepant, overlapping terms don't add up to very long. Not only that, I'm also beginning to wonder about what leaving my students after only a year would be like. Can I leave them after only teaching them for a year at most? Will I be ready to stop filling young minds with all my beautiful knowledge?

It's a lot to think about. But while I wrestle with that, I want to wish you all the best back in Canada with whatever you try next, Phil! Take care of yourself, God bless, it was nice working with you. So goodbye Phil..... still not completely sure what your last name was. Those temporary jobs will do that!

Oh and yes, part of this is just an experiment to see if he still reads my blog. All the best!