Happy Chinese New Year! (featuring Ong Bak 3)

Today I’ll tell you all about Ong Bak 3.

I celebrated Chinese New Year last weekend with my friends, happy Year of the Rabbit to everyone. Amongst the Asian-styled snacks provided by our amazing host Chui Choy, we also had bubble tea and rented Ong Bak 3 from Irben Entertainment, a place on Pembina that has all kinds of Asian (subtitled) movies way before they get released for the rest of Canadians. Don’t worry nerds, yes there’s tons of anime. Calm down.

Anyways, for those that don’t know, the Ong Bak movies (plus The Protector) are straight outta Thailand, and are known largely for the participation of Muay Thai superstar Tony Jaa. Jaa is nothing short of mind-blowing onscreen; the movie highlights how there are no strings or special effects used to achieve his fighting prowess. So when the third movie came out, trust me, I was amped for some flying elbows and backflip kicks.

Unfortunately, there was barely any to be had. Part of the reason that made Ong Bak so great was that the usual reasons that scare people away from foreign movies (subtitled dialogue, a crazy plot that’s hard to follow, people speaking German) were nonexistent. In the first movie, the plot was beyond basic, the dialogue was take it or leave it, and 95% of the movie was Jaa absolutely working people. But as the trilogy has progressed, the ratio of gasp-evoking moves to insane flashbacks slipped it out of the action movie genre and into… foreign films.

The movie is a lot of scenes that don’t seem to fit, spells and tattoos that give off smoke for some reason, and the worst part is Jaa’s character is on crutches for the movie’s majority! Despite a couple short fights that bookend the movie and a few laughs from director Petchtai Wongkamlao in his reassumed role as the village’s local crazy old guy, it’s mostly a slow healing journey of Jaa learning meditation.

So if you’re expecting some fighting, watch Ong Bak and The Protector, and just leave it there. Oh and if you’re short on time, here’s some highlights from both movies- they’ll blow you away. It’s my Chinese New Year gift to you, so imagine you’re taking it out of a red envelope.