Obit-Shoe-ary

Today I say goodbye.

It's with sad feet and a heavy heart that I say goodbye to my favourite shoes, my Supra Vaiders in Black Action and White. They were size 12.

Were it not for the strict luggage restrictions of air travel, my Supras would have enjoyed a relaxing retirement back in Canada; resting comfortably on a soft mat near the door, and slipped on only for short sunny walks to pick up the mail, or times of "Hang on, I just need to grab something from my car". Unfortunately, although they had many good years of stylishness left, they didn't make it home from China, and passed away comfortably, as was their way. 

It's at this time we look back and consider what a full life these Supras lived. They worked-hard, they were energetic, and even though they were bold and strong, they had a knack for making people comfortable. There was no challenge that my Supras could not face. They braved the sidewalks for years of Canadian winters, and the heat of Florida's theme parks. They walked the beaches of Thailand, and explored the markets of Chinese alleyways. Whether with shorts or pants, these courageous shoes could face any pressure, and look good doing it.

These Supra Vaiders are survived by their younger brother, my Supra Vaiders in Navy and Pink. 

A short ceremony was held outside my apartment, as my Supras and their brother-in-arms, that pair of Osiris' with the buckles, were laid to rest inside a small Chinese dumpster. 

I'd like to thank my Supras for their years of support. You will be missed; I will reflect lovingly on you whenever my calves look amazing, or I adjust my pant leg to accommodate a different pair of high-tops, or- hang on, I just need to grab something from my car.

Goodbye sweet Supras.

Suit up!

This week I went suit shopping all alone.

I’m one of those boys that actually likes shopping. I’ll spend hours in the mall. When I go on a trip, I ask about the shopping possibilities at the destination. But even with all this, I love that deep down, every boy has the ability to do any amount of shopping in the least time possible.

 With this in mind, I went suit shopping 4 days before end-of-the-year-school-functions kicked off. I went on Sunday, half an hour before the mall closed, and it turns out that’s the ideal time to shop. The salesperson was able to give me all kinds of attention, and together we worked out a banging outfit that makes me look fancy, which is a rare look for me. It’s like Halley’s Comet really: it only comes around everyone once in awhile, and you don’t want to get caught looking at it but you just can’t resist.

I desperately needed some new threads since my grad suit fits like pajamas for some reason (the guys at old-school Jack Fraser don’t know that baggy suits haven’t been cool since before they had dentures). Observe:

'99? That's being generous.

Jeans Conclusion.. Plus a SURPRISE!

Today I tell you the riveting conclusion to my jeans dilemma, and this week I start wearing something new.

I presented you with a problem last week and asked for your advice (read it here). Thanks so much for the feedback; I really appreciate the comments I received. If the only thing this blog accomplishes is opening up a dialogue about women’s pants, I’ll be happy. But there’s a reason over 6 people read this blog, it’s because they want results! So here they are– what happened after that post?

Within a day several people had read and commented on what they thought I should do, so two days later I went back to Guess, expecting to buy those silver beauties. Unfortunately, they had already been sold. This is a lesson for me and you– if you see something as special as silvery jeans that fit great, you buy them. No questions.

Now understandably I was heartbroken. I felt flushed and dizzy, staring in shocked silence at the young salesman who had just delivered the news. What to do? Should I just walk out empty-handed, with nothing to show for all my effort? I decided no.

So I picked up something else– just as sexy, just as 50% off, and by doing so I finally set foot into a world I had long dreamed of and planned to enter since Conan did: JEGGINGS.

Jeggings are a cross between leggings and jeans, and they are incredible. Softer and snuggly-er than normal skinny jeans, they’re like wearing your most comfortable lounging-around-home pants, if your most comfortable lounging-around-home pants were painted on to your body. I’ve actually had to fight the urge to wear them everyday; their soft fabric makes regular denim feel like burlap, and I love how they show off my gorgeous gams and absence of assets.

Now this process wasn’t easy, I’ve had to overcome adversity. There were several people who were against my choice to wear jeggings, and now I resent those people for holding me back in life. And to those who supported me, you were right. I didn’t let anything stand in my way and with the support of the Guess employees I modeled for, I became a guy who wears jeggings. I mean, how can you argue with this?

SO sexy.

What makes me wonder is this: I’ve already worn these a few times now, to watch UFC, a Superbowl party, to school, and no one has said anything! There is one explanation– my other jeans were so tight that the difference between them and jeggings is unnoticeable. Let’s face it, I’ve pretty much been wearing jeggings this whole time… now it’s official. My name is Andrew Parker, and I wear jeggings.

Check out Conan revealing his love for male jeggings here. It’s a story so big, The Huffington Post covered it!

Also go shopping at Guess and see what other great stuff they’ve got. Click here!

Revealing my secrets with a long-awaited fashion post... I need YOUR help!

Today I’m asking for fashion advice.

Well not so much “fashion”. I realize that a large majority of what I wear isn’t really fashionable in any larger scheme of things, but I like to think that somehow I still look presentable without fitting in. But the advice part is very accurate.

Anyways, I’m sure it’ll come as no surprise by now that yes, I wear women’s clothing. A lot. And if it is a surprise, then you never listen to me when I talk about shopping! Come on guys. Just about all my jeans are women’s, because let’s face it: boys’ just aren’t skinny enough for this little frame. Having trouble with this? Here's some of my jeans to give you a visual breakdown:

Normal boy jeans? Guess again.

Of course these are girls.

Obviously...

Yep, Wet Seal.

Not jeans, but still women's!

Long-term loan right from an actual girl!

Surprisingly, these are actually men's.

Now to the question… I was shopping at Guess the other day and tried on a pair of jeans. They were 50% off but still $70, and I’m wondering if it’s worth it. Obviously I won’t be able to wear these jeans all the time… but I can’t get them out of my head! They fit awesomely and shone like stars in the night sky- doesn’t that sound like something I should be a part of? Here they are!

So, could I pull these off? It might be tricky since this picture is of a shapely model, so here’s an artist’s rendering of what it might look like with me wearing the jeans to give you an idea:

See the difference?

Thanks for your attention, and thanks for your help! Please let me know what you think… do you want to see me in silver jeans? GO!